Archives for September 2018

Not everyone has to cut the wind, take point, or invent the wheel. Just as valuable is keeping an eye out for the helpers, identify them, and helping them. Don’t wait for them to ask for help, they’re too busy helping. It’s also safe to assume that they are under-resourced.

Come alongside them, observe and inquire of their needs. Then provide resources you can, whether it’s mental, physical, emotional, or financial support. Just provide what you can. It’s all helpful.

It will be a worthwhile gift, and in the process, you will become a helper yourself.

A few weeks ago an old friend called me Quixotic. I hadn’t heard the term, so I asked him to define it. He mentioned Man of La Mancha and its lead character Don Quixote, the chasing of windmills and the dreaming of impossible dreams. I continued to listen. He said that I embodied many of the traits of the main character and the term was simply a describer. He’s known me over 30 years, so I listened, but had my reservations.

The idea of the impossible is relative. For some landing a job may seem impossible. Or maybe escaping one’s circumstances might seem impossible. To make a dramatic example, “impossible” could be trying to find a soulmate, or finding one’s keys. Regardless, there is a necessity for us to continue to push up against what we might perceive to be impossible.

For me it has to do with needing the resolution of whatever situation seems impossible in order to be at peace. As I look around, I will always feel that there is more work to be done. Impossible or not, it’s necessary.

There are so many voices today telling us where we’re supposed to be working. This is not a commentary on the value on any of the particular areas or the active voices. Rather I’ve been thinking a lot about asking myself where the work actually is.

Is it where everybody else is working?

Is it where everyone else’s isn’t already working?

Is the work the most popular thing or the unpopular thing?

The answer will obviously be different for each of us but the question is super important.

Where do you see your work?

It was New Year’s Eve and I had been invited to two different parties. One in Brooklyn and one in Harlem. One had a peer group of friends my age, the other would be filled with old timers. I’ve often yearned for peer groups, I don’t know if had anything to do with being an only child, or an immigrant, but it was a thing. So I decided to go to the party in Brooklyn and hang with folks my age.

Within and hour of being there, I had a strange sensation that I was in the wrong place. Nothing felt right. My friends were there, but everything seemed just a little off. Enough that just before midnight I excused myself, hopped in my car and drove straight to Harlem.

I walked into the joint in Harlem and felt right at home. I was the only person from my generation in the whole place, but it didn’t matter. I was in the right place.

Sometimes where we want be to isn’t the place we need to be. It’s okay to leave. The more important thing is being in the right place.

I’m sitting at the dinner table with a few new friends at this awesome Lindy Hop camp when a beautiful thing happened. During the natural course of conversation somebody said, “you know what I mean?” Without skipping a best I heard myself say, “Oh baby, YOU!” Right away, everyone around the table launched into this classic by Biz Markie.

This continued to happen for almost 30 minutes. We talked, a phrase triggered a song, we sang, then we talked again. What a joy it is to have the common language of songs to identify a time, a place, even an experience, that we share with others. When they show up randomly in the course of conversation it feels like an even greater joy.

Sometimes excitement gets the best of me. Friends I haven’t seen in a while, new friendships just being birthed, amazing music, and yes the sounds of a beautiful sprung wooden floor (I do tap dance after all) all give me energy, and the generosity to spend more of everything I have…

But then the end of the day comes, and my fuel tank is more than empty. It’s a good empty, but empty nonetheless. Maybe better to save a gallon for “just in case.” Maybe better to turn in a little earlier so that the next morning isn’t such a struggle. Maybe better to catch the right pace, not continue the chase, and not feel overworked and under energized. Just maybe.

I was sitting in the middle of the woods when I realized that my service provider for my mobile phone had failed me. “No Service” stared back at me from the upper left hand corner of my phone’s display. What was I to do? Luckily WiFi existed not far from me so I just moved over a few feet…

I got to thinking about whether or not my current service provider was worthwhile. Limited service has its benefits if all you need is limited. The service might be great but the coverage might be limited. In this case the question arises: Is it better have the best service but limited coverage, or amazing coverage with mediocre service?

If you find yourself offering limited coverage be sure to be amazing at whatever service you provide, wherever your corner of the world might be. There is nothing more challenged than limited coverage AND mediocre service.

Between the fall of 2014 and the spring of 2015 I went through a major shift in the way I thought of and approached my tap dancing career. Dancing has always had two sides: a private one in which I would purge emotions, learn about life, and commune with God, and a public one in which I crafted pieces that told stories, played music with killer musicians, and shared the craftwork I was learning.

This division came crashing down with a simple paradigm shift. Prior to the moment of this revelation I would describe my mission as tap dance – upholding the legacy, standard, and craftsmanship of the form – and my super power as Love – the ability to empathize, connect with, and affect people. Following the moment of revelation, I describe my mission as love – bearing witness to the gift of life, caring for one another, and expressing joy through dance – and my superpower as tap dance – this beautifully unique form, with breadth of expression, and rootedness in culture.

Our mission is our purpose. It encompasses the why. It is the reason we were specifically made, our being and doing, the most important thing that we dare pursue.

Our super power is the what and how. It’s the particular thing that we have that opens doors other people can’t open – our magic key. It’s our way into the room, the conversation, and the meeting, all for the sake of the mission.

We all have both. They work in tandem, complimentary to each other. For those of us who like this framework of thinking, it’s important to identify both our mission and our superpower appropriately. Take the time to ponder over them, ask trusted friends what they might think yours is, and test the results. It could be life changing. It was for me.