Archives for January 2018

 

Some questions are too big to answer. Maybe there’s too much nuance and complexity for the kind of answer that we want. Or maybe an answer simply doesn’t exist yet. When you hit one of those questions what do you do?

Do you have a practice that gives you perspective, peace, energy? Is it physical or meditative, distractive or divergent? Does the practice help you sit with the unanswerable questions?

Some questions need to have time spent with them.

If we can sit with a question long enough, maybe how we see them will change. If we see them differently maybe we can readdress them. Whatever happens, we’ll never run away from them, and that’s a good thing.

Not every man is a sexual predator. Not every woman is a feminist. Not every white person is racist. Not every person who identifies as a minority is oppressed.

The stories we are often told have a way of summarizing with sweeping generalizations. The generalizations are rooted in truth, of course, but ignore and ultimately suppress any divergent narrative.

There is always a minority report. It might be hard to find, and unbelievable at first. Especially given the strength of the major narrative. But it is there and warrants attention. Otherwise, we might actually believe that everyone we meet conforms to the stereotype we’ve heard.

Have you ever wondered about what kids actually see and hear? Parents witness kids ability to soak up the world around them, imitating words and actions, and often change their own preferences for the sake of the children.

What if we all felt that responsibility? Sesame Street sure did. So did Mr. Rogers. But responsibility doesn’t start in the institutions of media, education, or government. It starts with the people.

How would our actions, words, or pursuits change? Imagine having every thing you do be witnessed by a two or three or five or seven year old. Imagine the questions they would ask?

Would our answer be a defense of our own place of authority and power? Or would the response be edifying to them, and plant seeds of truth and wisdom?

Find your voice. Choose your path. Self-Actuate. Create your world. All of these pieces of advice have one thing in common. They are about you, not us. They stop (and may even fail) the moment you have to relate with others. Yet, we can learn a lot about ourselves in the context of relationship – maybe more so than in isolation.

So why isn’t the advice we give more relational? Find a good conversation. Choose a pursuit to join. Actuate a community.

Imagine how things would change when the “i” becomes a “we.”

Have you ever been called upon to be a witness? When that happens someone is saying that they trust you. They trust that you will say what you know to be true and not anything more or less. Your character and reputation may have spoken to them of your consistency in doing so.

We are all walking witnesses of the moments we have succeeded (and failed) to embody what we believe (and disbelieve). When someone asks about why we act a certain way, or do a certain thing, they have entrusted us as a witness of the underlying stuff (belief, value set, worldview, etc.) that drive our choices.

The idea of being yoked is unattractive. Wearing a heavy harness around your neck, tied to heavy load that you are tasked with pulling, doesn’t sound like anyone’s idea of a good time. Unless, that is, we were made for work.

Not a job, but work. A particular purpose that only you, with your history, disposition, and skills, could accomplish. That is our yoke. And we are tasked, in the midst of the noise, to seek out our yoke, have it put on, and have all our energy exerted for it.

Politics is usually off the table. We’re told to avoid the topic at gatherings for fear of the ramifications – heated debate, anger, broken dishes, etc. This kind of avoidance doesn’t make sense in today’s culture.

Many of us don’t live in communities with homogenous views. If we do, those communities might be facing changes in demographic makeup, expressed values, and culture. In order to navigate our communities, and the changes that they are experiencing, we have to talk.

I’m not saying the conversations are easy, but they are necessary, and there may be ways to avoid what we fear in political discourse while still engaging. Here’s a thought:

Ask more questions.

We live in a “statement making” culture. Online interactions are based on trading statements rather than actual dialogue. We even preempt interpretation by explaining how someone should read our truncated remarks. I saw a recent thread that ended with a series of statements that read, “If you think I’m saying [insert possible interpretation] then you are a moron.” Ugh.

Asking questions takes time, but teaches us about one another. We learn about the person asking the question by what they ask about. We learn about the person answering by how and what they answer.

If part of a community is about learning together, then asking questions is the beginning of the process.