Andrew's Daily Notes

We can’t assume that everyone sees the world the way we do. If we have a particular vision of how things should be working, the way we should be relating, or maybe a thing we’d like to see exist in more than just our imagination, we have a responsibility. Actually we have a few.

First, to check our vision. There is a threshold of assurance that we each have before we can move to the next level. We must work towards that threshold. If the idea doesn’t hold, it doesn’t need to be shared. If it does hold, then it must be shared.

Second, to share our vision. Once we have past our threshold for assurance we must begin to share the vision. This is the spreading of inspiration and knowledge. This is giving life to the vision beyond our own limited ability to see it or help it come to life. If we truly value the vision we will be energized to share it, for the sake of how the world might be changed by it.

Third to work towards bringing that vision into our everyday. Visions have a way of staying in our head or only coming to life intermittently. For any vision that will likely change the world, there is a daily work of bringing that vision into our everyday lives. Don’t shy away from this. It’s the only way the vision will come to be.

It’s always better to lead with action, than with a complaint. If we’re tired of trying to fix something alone, then maybe it’s time to find other workers. Or maybe it’s time for us to rest. It’s better to take the rest, than to burn out. It’s better to regroup with others then to be ground to dust alone. It’s better to stop, then to shift what energy we have left from action to complaining. They both take equal amounts.

Besides, we will always have the opportunity to start again.

I recently had the opportunity to share my dancing with a group of 3-5 year olds. After dancing for them a little I asked them what they saw and heard.

It was amazing to hear these beautiful children describe what they experienced.

“Your legs moved really fast”

“I heard low sounds and high sounds”

“You were hitting the floor and making sounds.”

I wondered what it would be like to ask the same question in other situations. In areas of conflict, extracting each party’s perspective is important. In areas of learning, extracting the student’s perspective is important. In areas of life, learning from others is super important.

We can’t assume everyone sees the world the same way we do. So why not ask?

If you see the opportunity to teach, give the lesson, especially if you have willing learners.

If you see the opportunity to learn, take it, especially if you have willing teachers.

The opportunities are not common. At least not as common as we need them to be to really see the world change.

But each of us can change our corner of the world by teaching a little more, and learning a little more.

Taking the opportunity every time it arises.

Sometimes we have to say more than we think is necessary. Sometimes we have to explain why we do things a certain way. It might feel like an unnecessary expenditure of energy, unless we actually care about the people who need the clarity. And we should care about the people.

The assumption of common experience, common language, or common interpretation is gone. Fewer and fewer people share the same underlying experience or language that makes for common interpretation. However, that doesn’t mean that we don’t share common values. But to see what we have in common, we have to be clear.

So we say more than might be necessary, explain the thinking behind our actions, unveil the “why.” In the pursuit of clarity. In the pursuit of learning. In pursuit of connection. In pursuit of what is common.

When I moved to Vancouver I had to make a choice as to where to live. I could live in a house with other people and close to where I would work, or I could live alone and further away. This is a common choice in cities.

I chose the former. After 25 years of driving in and out of NYC I would land in Vancouver without a car. I now walk to and from work every day (and sometimes a friend gives a lift!). I live with housemates. I buy groceries from the local market and their isn’t a big box store for miles.

Living local isn’t just for the benefit of local stores. It’s not just about growing and eating local food, or living without a car. Living local is about remembering how relationships function. Encountering the same people daily. Saying “hi,” checking in their needs, and allowing others to do the same for us.

A local ethic changes everything about how we see our place in our community. Our block is as important as our home. Our local relationships are as important (if not more) than the international ones. We focus our energy toward what we can touch, not what we can reach. Then we become like farmers again, tending to the land, watching for the weather, and planting seeds, if only in the hearts of our neighbors.

Have you every felt yourself being played? Like someone knew what buttons to push, to get you riled up and get you calmed down. And they would just keep going back and forth to drain you.

We can be better than that.

We can check our buttons. Are they tied to deeply rooted values? Or are they tied to things that we are chasing that we actually don’t to need chase?

We can check the button pusher, too. Why are they doing what they’re doing? Is their intent serious dialogue or just for their enjoyment?

We can check the game. If the game is that of pushing buttons then we can learn how best to play. How do we defend against being pushed? What does a virtuous offense look like? How do we protest the game, talk to the ref, or walk off the field?

Check our buttons, check the pusher, and remember that we can always check the game itself. We can be better than getting our buttons pushed.

What if there was no promise of gain, no promise of fame or fortune, no promise of success? What work would you do?

I was taught two things in the early 1990s as I came up in the tap dance world.

• I would have to make my own work. There would be no predetermined track for me to slot into. No career placement office, or place I could submit a job application.
• We do it because we love it. That’s a line I first heard from Gregory Hines who credited Henry LeTang for it. When I finally met Henry I got the explanation. He said, “We do it because we love it, because you’re sure not going to make a lot of money doing it.” That statement isn’t completely true, but that was his experience. And if Henry LeTang (a Tony Award winning choreographer) was saying this…

So what would you do if you had to find your way, and all that fueled the journey was love?