Everyone I know, I’ve been blessed to see imperfect. I say this is a blessing because I’m one who has struggled with perfectionism. It goes something like this: When I see someone succeed or cast a vision of success in a way that I have hoped to achieve myself, I see them as a reflection of perfection, especially in opposition to my personal imperfections (which I seem intimately aware of). It’s a mind trip that I don’t wish upon anyone.
So it is a gift for me to see my friends (especially those whom I admire) bear witness to their weaknesses, their personal challenges, and their very human navigation of reality.
We all face ourselves in the light of imperfection at some point (seeing that we are not who we would like to be). If our sense of worthiness is beaten upon, we may search for the things that will give us peace. Some of us will be snagged by traps that ultimately cause us mental, emotional, and physical pain on account of this search. Others will dive into productivity, working to give ourselves value. Others will stand upon their opinions and values.
In the midst of my challenging time friends (and strangers) have offered their love in a particular way that brought me immense peace. They each said some variation of this:
I want you to know that if I could, I would sit with you, and hear your story, from beginning to end. I would laugh with you, and cry with you. I would carry your questions with you. I would encourage your dreams (and help battle the nightmares). I would feel the pain of your pain, and feel the joy of your joy (I’m an empath, so that’s a real thing). I would turn off my phone before you started your story. I wouldn’t run away as you shared. Your story would have my full attention. You would have my full attention.
I would do this because I would want to listen. I would want to share this time with you, because you are important, and I genuinely want to know you. Your story and our time together would be a gift to me. I would care for it the best I could.
There was something about someone wanting to know me (not just what I did), and caring, that made such a difference. In that realization, I found peace, and the rest that comes with it. I wish the same for you.