Archives for April 2018

What we believe is right and wrong directly affects how we express ourselves.

How we express ourselves on a continual basis sets the norms of culture.

The norms of culture directly affect what the next generation thinks is right and wrong.

And so the cycle continues.

It was bound to happen, a short opinion piece about the tap dance community. I don’t write a lot about tap dance here because of its niche nature. But the tap dance community is like a microcosm of the world, and I’ve learned a lot from being in it and observing it.

Every few months it seems that an article either declares tap dance dying, or newly alive. We either have a new leader of the field, a new cheerleader, or a new skeptic speaking loudly in the public sphere.

Let me state this with clarity. Tap dance will be alive and well as a cultural expression wherever and whenever someone puts on a pair of tap shoes and hits the floor with their feet. For the craft to be alive has never required commerce.

What the community has always lamented, is the turn away from the music and dances of the 1920s when tap dance was popular – the imagined creative dynamism of that time. What died was an era. And that era, with all that it was, will never make a comeback.

I’m so glad that people are continually being introduced to this beautiful craft, but am tired of the public battle for achievement of some ethereal goal of tap dance returning to the glory of yesteryear.

If we are serious about using the power of the arts for glory, then our efforts should be pointed towards using them to build resilient communities. Then the artifact of our efforts would be of true benefit to the generations to follow.

There are two systems that I’ve been learning a lot about recently. One is culture – the system of values, norms, and traditions that informally or formally governs societies. The other is business – the system of commerce that codifies our public work, and has given rise to formal corporations. It has recently struck me that millions if not billions of dollars have been spent on finding out how best people may work within the context of corporations.

Leadership skills, employee wellness, and corporate culture, have all been studied. We’ve discovered ways to make goals more attainable and measurable, better ways to organize teams, and even what makes some businesses succeed in their endeavors while others fail.

Here’s the thing. It seems that very little of this information makes it into popular dialogue, and yet it seems that the structural social issues we are suffering from may be solved by the same discoveries that have allowed corporations like GE, GM, Toyota, and Google to become who they are.

There is at least one big difference here. Corporations are built for profit. That is their legal purpose. This is not the fundamental purpose of people. So when transferring the knowledge of the corporate world into the public sphere we must be keen to know the difference in goals.

Here’s one way of stating the question I’m pondering. What if everything we knew about how to work together to make a profit in the marketplace was put towards working together to care for one another?

Apologies come in three steps.

Confession: a simple statement of what was done. Call the lie a lie. Call self righteousness what is. Call out the offense such that the offended might see that we too see exactly what has transpired.

Repentance: this is literal heart-break, on account of the pain that we’ve caused, and a consequent turning away from that kind of action.

Forgiveness: this is the one that has to come from the offended. Sometimes offended parties aren’t ready to forgive. Sometimes they’ve already forgiven. Sometimes the confession and display of repentance is the thing that was needed to shift their heart towards forgiveness. Regardless we can’t know for sure before approaching the conversation.

So many worthless things stand in the way of this work. Our reputation. Our fear of how others will respond. Are either of these worth more than a possible reconciled relationship?

I’ve been thinking a lot about apologies lately. When we make them, how we make them, and how they function in relationships. There seems to be a cultural understanding that forgiveness is necessary for injuries to begin healing. There also seems to be a basic understanding that if an apology isn’t sincere it is worth little. I think about the kid, who when forced by a teacher to apologize for a particular offense gives a half baked, “fine, I’m sorry.” To which the offended simply rolls their eyes, as if to say, “fine, I know you don’t mean it but just so that we don’t have to stay here all day…”

Kids understand offenses intuitively. They understand the need for reconciliation when the bonds of a friendship are tested and broken. Part of the revelation of imperfection (or evil) in the world is the moment when a child’s intuitive understanding of love is broken by a family member or friend. They then have to figure out if the intent of the offender was malicious or not. Discernment begins. If malicious, there is evil there. If not, a sense of a relationship worth saving.

A sincere apology from the offender, originating from a repentant heart helps here. It prevents further confusion. It has the potential to lay the ground work for reconciliation. Isn’t that what we desire?

There is one thing that underlies all functional relationships. Trust. Trust begets a sense of safety in relationship. A relationship undergirded by trust allows a free flowing of generosity, vulnerability, and interdependence, all adding up to resilience.

When trust is broken much is lost. Community is fractured. Individuals are hurt, betrayed, and become cynical. In the worst cases individuals become protectionist. They close themselves to any possibility for a future relationship of any kind.

Here’s the thing. To walk out into the world without protecting ones own heart, and testing others, is reckless. But to become such a cynic as to believe that trusting relationships are impossible is to lose all faith.

No. Trust takes time to build, and therefore must be our work. When inevitably we fail one another there must be a mechanism in place to rebuild the trust when it is broken. That mechanism is confession of our actions (or lack thereof), repentance (a deep turning of our heart), and forgiveness.

This cycle must be undertaken if we believe that the tending to our relationships is of more value than any other particular achievement.

Expression is a human trait. We use spoken and written language to communicate meaning. There are languages that exist around the world that entire nations share. There are other languages that only a handful of people know. And then there are abstract languages, such as those found in the arts. Music, visual, and movement arts all have internal languages that each artist uses to communicate meaning.

In music the languages of rhythm, melody, and harmony. In the visual arts, languages of color, composition, form, and line. In the movement arts, languages of the body (form), time, and space. All these are used to speak towards a particular thing, itself concrete or abstract.

Here’s the thing: languages, much like anything else, can be self-serving or they can be put into service. Consider which is more important: what words you use, or whether or not your message is received? I know the two are related, but they are not of equal value.

There is a fundamental cultural difference between a society that places priority value on the words or one that places priority on communication. The society that focuses on the words first will begin to devalue anyone who does to share a similar vocabulary. They will not be able to hear anyone who speaks differently. While the society who concentrates on the communication will consider everyone’s voice regardless of the language it is presented in. What is being said will matter more than how, or even who, is saying it. Having experienced the role of the outcast, I would much rather live in a culture that measures the message first, then the messenger.

A few weeks ago I was driving into my new gig as Adjunct faculty at Montclair State University. It’s been a couple of weeks now and so I have my regular routine. I know my driving route to the campus. I know which parking lot I’m likely to find parking. It’s become regular. Taken for granted. I’m accustomed to it. But this day was different.

I made it to the campus on my usual route, but as I turned into my parking lot I noticed no free parking spaces. The only other lots available were closer to the campus, more popular, and most likely full. Ugh. I drove towards them anyway. Aware of the doubtfulness I was harboring. To make matters worse I found myself driving behind another vehicle. I assumed they were looking for a parking spot as well. Could there be two free spaces? Highly unlikely.

I kept driving. As I entered the lot I took a different route than the car in front of me. I found myself guided towards the front of the lot. Could there really be a free space this close to where I needed to be? There it was. In between two SUVs and a 6ft snow bank I squeaked my compact car into a space. Lesson learned.

If I hadn’t been pushed out of my regular routine on this day I would never have experienced this favor. A single spot, at the closest parking lot to campus, located in the corner of the lot closest to where I needed to be.

The questions began. What other regular routines are keeping me from experiencing favor? What assumptions am I holding that are not true? What habits have taken root that do not point to life? My list is long. It can be hard to look at. But the first moment in the process is the gift of awareness. The vision to see what is must be removed/changed is a gift. The strength and courage to act upon this new vision is a gift. The awareness of our past works, the process of growth, and our future responsibility, is covered with Grace lest we find ourselves crushed by the condemnation of our missteps. This – all of this – is Love.