Asking for forgiveness before offering an apology short circuits the entire process of healing. You can’t ask for forgiveness from someone without first confessing the offense. Confession is the pathway to repentance, repentance begins the inner work of the heart to soften, to be renewed by Love, and ultimately to receive forgiveness.
Reconciliation only happens after truth is exposed. Nothing gets swept under the rug. Everything is brought into the light so that it may be dealt with, mercy may be shown, grace may be experienced, and Love planted in the place of pain.